Me: Peter, I thought you were going to get a treadmill.
Peter: I don't want a treadmill. That shit's for old people. You think I need shit around to remind me I'm getting old?
My mom: Oh give me a break, Peter. Look at your sandals.
Peter: These were an accident!
My mom: That's your fourth pair, Peter.
Peter: Yup. And my fourth accident.
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