peter doesn't go to the mall often.

"Heather! What is this Forever 21 shit on your credit card bill?! It better not be a f*ckin' bar!"

peter's maintenance.

I just pulled into CVS and saw Peter sitting in his car in the parking lot.

"Hey Peter."
"Can you believe this shit?!"

He shows me a receipt for the maintenance he just had done on his car, and it's cleaner than I've ever seen it.

"Well Dad, on the inside it looks like they did a pretty good j..."
"They practically f*cking robbed me!"

As Peter pulls the receipt back through the window, he knocks the cherry off of his cigarette, and it burns a hole in his floor board.

peter babysits

I asked Peter to keep an eye on the kids for me while I finished up something for class. When I went back to the baby cabin to check on them, this is what I found:



Yes, Peter snoozing in a mini-bed.

peter's response

Just like any other morning, Peter and I are sitting next to each other on our laptops. Except this morning, every time I ask Peter a question, he types his response into a translation website and I hear it in a professional Spanish voice.

peter gets philosophical.

Me: Wow, Peter, that's probably the most inappropriate thing you've ever said.

Peter: Everything is relative!